A Pinch of Melancholy

Lately I've had entirely too much leisure time on my hands and it's caused my mood to become rather melancholy. Ugh.

I want to have some fun, but I have no money with which to have fun and besides, I'd like to have some family fun for once, but no one is ever up for it here. Caleb wants to do his own thing, Tristan wants to do his own thing and Scott wants to do his own thing as well. I mean, that's not to say that Scott and I don't do things together...we do. However, we seldom do things as a family and it makes me sad. I want to spend more time with all my guys.

So I'm home alone, watching a movie I've already seen at least three times.

My family and I enjoyed a lovely and peaceful hike today, along the Kentucky Palisades.

Is it really necessary to be careful what I say?

Thinking perhaps I need to watch the things I say around others. About a week ago my husband and I were at a graduation party for our friend, Julia, who earned her doctorate in some sort of genetics-based mathematics and she was also offered (and accepted) a job with the National Science Foundation as a full-time researcher for something to do with cancer and genetics....so strange that I know someone THAT intelligent!

ANYWHO, while we were there, a drunk professor of mathematics was talking and singing with a 10 year old little girl who attends the School for the Creative and Performing Arts and I was listening to their conversation as I sipped my red wine beneath the canopy of a lovely Redbud tree. Well, I looked to the little girls' dad and said, "She's such an old soul." I really meant it and I still do. She is so intelligent and so beyond her years. It was wonderful to sit and chat with her...I wonder, however how she is able to get along with other 10-year old children.

Anyway, her dad replied, "Well we are very spiritual." A few moments later he was discussing their religion and I realized I need to be more conscious of what I'm saying so I don't offend anyone.

Then again, do I? Is it necessary to always consider what others feel is appropriate before I say or do something? You know, my ideas and beliefs are not typical of those around me. Even to my own husband my ideas lean to the ridiculous. To me, however they are very real and mean a lot to me. I can't help that I don't believe this is our only life to live. I can't help it that I see divinity in all things around me. I just do. I can't help that I believed that little girl is an old soul. How many 10-year olds can have a rather in-depth conversation with a math professor? Sure he was drunk, but still! I don't know many children who can do that.

She was also a writer...and the way she talks with me about developing her characters was very mature. I was impressed with her and it was a joy to me that she was eager to hear my suggestions and encouragement. I guess I am a teacher at all times, much like I am a parent at all times.

I'm still not sure if it's necessary to be careful of talking about my personal beliefs to others...the only reason I feel I should be careful is I don't want to be discredited because of my ideas. So many people in my area are Christians...and judgmental ones to boot and I know they would laugh at me and immediately discredit anything else I say. That bothers me when it really shouldn't. The funny part is that my ideas are not that much different than theirs. I believe in unconditional love and forgiveness. I believe in god, only I also believe in goddess. I believe in doing onto others as I'd have them do to me. I believe in taking care of the Earth and everyone around me that I'm able to help in any way. I believe there is life after death, only I believe we come back to Earth to live again.

My ideas are not so different.
I just know that I'd be treated like and outcast and I really don't want to be. I want to be accepted for who I am, NOT for what I believe or don't believe.

Job and summer

I'm ready for summer and thankful that I have a job that still allows summer to be a thing to look forward to. :)

Thank goodness I have a job starting in August. So many others are losing jobs or cannot find jobs. My blessing is certainly not being taken for granted. I am super thankful!!!

Caleb's Birthday...the big 14!

It's a cold and rainy,snowy, haily, sleety day here in Central Kentucky. Wow. Crazy, but it's a tradition...every year for Caleb's birthday, we get rain and snow mix. Ugh.

Oh well.

Caleb had a nice birthday, but he has a headache and his belly is hurting, so he went to bed early. I hope he feels better tomorrow. My husband is going to the doctor tomorrow, so if Caleb's still not feeling better, they can go together.

I have an interview tomorrow morning with a school in a county nearby. I'm excited and nervous. My portfolio is together and I actually feel sort of proud of it...you know. I worked really hard on it and it's sort of nice to see everything together in one binder. Wow. I think I'll be happy to show it off tomorrow.

Must go to bed....need good nights rest.

Ugh.

So it's raining and the wind is blowing like mad outside, so I'm sort of hibernating today. I've accomplished a lot of work today though, so that's a positive spin on an otherwise uneventful day. I'm currently working on lessons for a poetry unit based on Harlem Renaissance poems. It's nearly completed.

My gardens are coming to life...the hostas are poking through the soil (actually up about 2 inches so far). My other plants are doing well also, including the lemon balm, mint, coneflowers, irises (which I can't wait to see!!) and my toad lily is looking great also. :) I still feel somewhat dissatisfied with it. It seems misshapen or something. Then again, the garden really is basically in it's first year, so I need to chill and enjoy watching it mature.

I feel rather under the weather today...slow and lethargic. My head hurts and my body just feels heavy and worn out. Ugh. Maybe it's the weather...but I don't know.

It's been a long while since I was here last. I've ended my infatuation with MySpace. Like all infatuations, it became boring. It lasted quite a long time. Four years! But I'm finished with it officially. I've now become a fan of Facebook and Twitter. Well, I'd not call me a FAN of Twitter, but I'm messing with it for now. Maybe I'll learn to like it.

My newest favorite author these days is George Ella Lyon. She's a Kentucky native and she has a wonderful voice and presence. She recently visited my LIS 510 class at the University of Kentucky and she was wonderful. She inspired me...although recently I've not made much time to write. Not sure why, but it just hasn't happened. I thought getting this laptop would help with that, but it hasn't. I'm not good at ignoring the distractions that are the WWW. hmmm.....

I graduate in about one month and I absolutely cannot wait! I'm so very ready to say goodbye to student life and start my career. I'm truly looking forward to it. My husband is probably looking forward to the extra financial assstance as well. ;)