Sunday, May 31, 2009

Marriage Equality: Love knows no bounds

Love knows no bounds.

My husband and I are proof of that. We instantly fell in love when I was 14 years old and maintained a long-distant relationship for several years. During this time, we talked a LOT through expensive long-distant phone calls and lots and lots of letters, some of which Scott sent with painted envelopes that contained a cool new cassette or a flier from a recent show. Mine often contained things too, but never anything nearly as cool. :)

Through a misunderstanding (not going to elaborate here), we separated and were apart for 10 years. During that time we never spoke to one another. He dated a girl for that time and I had a terrible relationship, had two children and then had a fairly good relationship. I never stopped thinking of Scott and I hoped that wherever he was, he was happy.

Then one day, his cousin (and my best friend0 emailed me and said, "I saw RSG. He wants your email address." When I read that I cried. I literally just broke down in tears and didn't know why. Nothing had even happened yet!

We emailed each other and called often, with the first call being from me and Scott answering with, "Hello?"
I said, "Scott?"
He then replied, "Oh shit."


We met again in May 2003 when he and his mother came to Kentucky for a visit. I remember very well talking to Diana in the living room of her parents' house while I anxiously (pretending to be patient) waited for Scott to come downstairs. When I saw him, he smiled and put his arms around me and while I know his mother was saying something to us, I have no idea what she said. The rest of the world literally fell away and it was just Scott and me. It was straight up like a movie scene where the couple is in a bubble and everything around them becomes blurred.

A year later he moved to Kentucky and we were married in 2006, on the beach in Maui. Just us. Perfect.

Many people would say that what happened to us just couldn't happen, but it did. It's a scenario directors, producers and writers dream up...but it really happened to us.

Love is bigger than us. It's not something we choose. It just is what it is and it happens the way it does.

Love knows no bounds.

It's sad to me that there are thousands of people out there who are completely in love with one another (some for decades or more) but they are not allowed to marry one another simply because they are of the same sex.

In our country's past, marriage was once denied to slaves as well and/or allowed more to humor the slaves than as a legal union. Their marriages were often divided through sale and/or early death. They were not considered equal, by law.

The law then stated that "all men are created equal;" however, "men" did not mean Mankind, as it does today. At that time it only included white males. The definition and connotation of the word "men" had to be changed to include men and women of all races, ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds.

What makes the issue of marriage equality difficult is that the defense is based on faith and faith alone. Well, faith and outright prejudice by some as well. Faith is something a person believes and it cannot be proven by law. Many people would argue that I'm wrong about that. They would say, "the Bible says..." just as slave owners once said, "the Bible says that there are groups who are to be subservient to others." That's how they justified chattel slavery and that is how groups today are justifying a ban on gay marriage.

My problem with this is, say you're a Christian....OK. Sure, you believe homosexuality is a sin. Fine. Do you not also believe "thou shalt not judge lest ye be judged," and "he who is without sin cast the first stone?" Who are you to judge another? Why are you so against a couple marrying? So you say, "they are sinning!"

Well, according to your own beliefs, so are you....every single day of your life and according to your beliefs, sin is sin is sin.

Love knows no bounds.

There are so many people out there who have been in a loving and monogamous relationship for decades (and even longer) who are unable to get married because they are of the same sex. The thing that bothers me so much is that there are so many heterosexual couples who took their own marriages fro granted. Many recited vows that they failed to really even look at before they said them to one another. Others were too hungover from the night before to even remember saying the vows at all! In addition to that, heterosexuals have taken marriage so for granted that they go into marriage with the idea that they can just get divorced if it doesn't work out. Still others are treating their spouses poorly, paying for prostitutes and having extra-marital affairs. It happens all the time.

These same people are banning loving couples from marrying one another.

Love knows no bounds.
I say marriage should be redefined as: a legal union between two people.

Friday, May 29, 2009

A Pinch of Melancholy

Lately I've had entirely too much leisure time on my hands and it's caused my mood to become rather melancholy. Ugh.

I want to have some fun, but I have no money with which to have fun and besides, I'd like to have some family fun for once, but no one is ever up for it here. Caleb wants to do his own thing, Tristan wants to do his own thing and Scott wants to do his own thing as well. I mean, that's not to say that Scott and I don't do things together...we do. However, we seldom do things as a family and it makes me sad. I want to spend more time with all my guys.

So I'm home alone, watching a movie I've already seen at least three times.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

My family and I enjoyed a lovely and peaceful hike today, along the Kentucky Palisades.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Is it really necessary to be careful what I say?

Thinking perhaps I need to watch the things I say around others. About a week ago my husband and I were at a graduation party for our friend, Julia, who earned her doctorate in some sort of genetics-based mathematics and she was also offered (and accepted) a job with the National Science Foundation as a full-time researcher for something to do with cancer and strange that I know someone THAT intelligent!

ANYWHO, while we were there, a drunk professor of mathematics was talking and singing with a 10 year old little girl who attends the School for the Creative and Performing Arts and I was listening to their conversation as I sipped my red wine beneath the canopy of a lovely Redbud tree. Well, I looked to the little girls' dad and said, "She's such an old soul." I really meant it and I still do. She is so intelligent and so beyond her years. It was wonderful to sit and chat with her...I wonder, however how she is able to get along with other 10-year old children.

Anyway, her dad replied, "Well we are very spiritual." A few moments later he was discussing their religion and I realized I need to be more conscious of what I'm saying so I don't offend anyone.

Then again, do I? Is it necessary to always consider what others feel is appropriate before I say or do something? You know, my ideas and beliefs are not typical of those around me. Even to my own husband my ideas lean to the ridiculous. To me, however they are very real and mean a lot to me. I can't help that I don't believe this is our only life to live. I can't help it that I see divinity in all things around me. I just do. I can't help that I believed that little girl is an old soul. How many 10-year olds can have a rather in-depth conversation with a math professor? Sure he was drunk, but still! I don't know many children who can do that.

She was also a writer...and the way she talks with me about developing her characters was very mature. I was impressed with her and it was a joy to me that she was eager to hear my suggestions and encouragement. I guess I am a teacher at all times, much like I am a parent at all times.

I'm still not sure if it's necessary to be careful of talking about my personal beliefs to others...the only reason I feel I should be careful is I don't want to be discredited because of my ideas. So many people in my area are Christians...and judgmental ones to boot and I know they would laugh at me and immediately discredit anything else I say. That bothers me when it really shouldn't. The funny part is that my ideas are not that much different than theirs. I believe in unconditional love and forgiveness. I believe in god, only I also believe in goddess. I believe in doing onto others as I'd have them do to me. I believe in taking care of the Earth and everyone around me that I'm able to help in any way. I believe there is life after death, only I believe we come back to Earth to live again.

My ideas are not so different.
I just know that I'd be treated like and outcast and I really don't want to be. I want to be accepted for who I am, NOT for what I believe or don't believe.