I always say all this crap and then when I get responses, I immediately begin criticizing myself. I consider myself a bitch. I get close to others only to eventually remove them from my life. I feel like I am meant to walk alone...except that I like having my husband with me.
I typically believe others are out to hurt me in one way or another. I take EVERYTHING personally, even though I pretend I don't.
Basically I am the embodiment of a stupid lie. I lie constantly to myself and others. It's ridiculous, I know....however, it got me past 25 and I didn't really believ ethat was possible.
So what if someone gave me a hard time...who gives a shit? Really? I want to write. I want to publish a book that is in the works presently...and I'm afraid of a little criticism? How will I deal with feedback IF the book is published and IF anyone actually buys the damned thing? I always talk about free speech and "I have the right to say whatever I want," but I get mad when others say that...what B.S.
I'm a load of BS and I feel every ounce of it right now. Grrr....I'm so fucking pathetic. I need to get over myself. I'm so ridiculous.
Not that anyone here cares. I'm just venting....and typing is less painful to my fingers than writing with a pen these days! AHHHHHHHHHH! There. It's all out. I'm finally being honest with myself.