Porn Spam and the Online World = GRRRR

So funny (and humbling) to keep a blog and the only feedback I get is Asian porn spam.

Whatever.

If blogs were really for others, we'd call it email or a telephone call. We really know who the blogs are for. It's totally and completely for the blogger. Get a response, think "wow, I must have written something witty! I must be on my game today!" Don't get a response, think: "No one understands me! This is just like high school!"

Whatever, no one really cares....unless, of course your readers are your friends and then they probably DO care.

That said, for the most part people are only responding in hopes that you will in-turn respond to them. It's this strange insatiable cycle of blogging that serves to clutter the mind and either feed or starve the soul.

Whatever happened to REAL friendship? You know the kind, where you could argue like siblings and hug the next day as if nothing ever happened. Where they tell you if you have something in your teeth, because it's the right fucking thing to do. Nowadays, our friends are online in that online world where they can't even see our teeth, at least not in real time. Then you walk around with lettuce in your teeth and no friends to tell you it's there.

This blows.

I am amazed though with this online world. I've been an active member for geez, I don't know....YEARS....so many I swear my hands are starting to remain din their typing stance, even when I stand at ease...they are ready like strange claws; ready to reach out to someone; to piss someone off; to make someone feel comforted; to make someone laugh...they are at the ready. It's bad, really. I can see the wrinkles from internet and typing activity. Anyway, I really am amazed with this online world. I mean, I've met some really terrific people on here... in various places, over the last decade or so. I'd say I've met three really GREAT people that I have had the pleasure of meeting or would like to meet one day. that's it over the last decade or so. They are really considered my online friends.

There are online acquaintances as well and they are great too, but I don't hold the in my heart as dearly. I don't think about them unless they comment to my page (I have others besides this one...here is where I am safe from real family and in-person friends and I can express myself as I truly want to)and then I think of them and when I say "I'm sending warm thoughts your way," I truly am. I stop for a second and send happy thoughts, warm thoughts, healing thoughts, etc....

It's no lie.

You know, I think deep inside most people who get to know me don't really like me. Sure, this could be my psychosis with the ED, but I honestly believe it's true. I mean think about it....it's typically easy to make friends because as humans we generally believe others are like us. We make assumptions. However, it's upon realizing that others are NOT like us that we come to reality. For many, this means realizing that I'm not this or not that and then people want me to go away.

It's like this, at my school, I'm constantly surrounded by talk of Christianity. The author of The Golden Compass is not exactly banned from the district, but I would never be allowed to use his book as a teaching tool because he is an Atheist. I guess this means, as an employee of my school district, I should NEVER talk about my beliefs. It's strange to have to be so guarded. I generally change the subject to more important things....like students and teaching.

So anyway, there's my crap for today. Take it or leave it.

I'm sure to get some damned Asian porn spam....and I'll delete it, as usual. WTF? Why do they do that? It's so fucking irritating!